Life After Lockdown

The moment everyone has been waiting for. The easing of lockdown. But what if, now it’s here, life after lockdown leaves you feeling cold?

The thing is, 10 weeks ago, if you told me I’d be reluctant to ease the grip of lockdown, I’d have looked at you, confused. I miss my mum, my dad, my siblings. I miss not popping for a morning take-away coffee from the local coffee shop. I even miss the playground chat (ok, that less so ;-)). But the reality is, the easing of lockdown doesn’t see a return to life as we know it. It brings with it a “new normal”.

Basically, we’ve been told for so long that, if we break lockdown too soon, we, or someone we love could die. It may have been dressed-up differently (and this is not a political post), but essentially that was the message. Now when you have a more vulnerable baby or child at home, that’s a pretty tough message to digest. So, you do what you’re used to doing which is to disinfect everything and everyone you come into contact with. You essentially lock the front door and hide the key for a while.

For a lot of NICU parents, the timing of this pandemic couldn’t have been worse (although, I do acknowledge there is never a good time for a global pandemic). RSV season was drawing to a close and we were looking forward to the easing of our own lockdowns. Looking forward to getting outside, enjoying some fresh air, maybe a coffee shop, perhaps even venturing out to a baby group.

RSV season is scary for NICU parents. Even those preemie babies without medically complex needs can struggle if they catch what is essentially a common cold to you or I. To them, it can be life-threatening. So whilst many non-NICU parents can take the “its-only-a-cold” and “a-few-germs-never-harmed-anyone” approach, that doesn’t work for preemie parents. The winter months are filled with non-stop hand-washing, restricting visitors and cleaning everything in sight.

So how does it feel to come out of that, and into a global pandemic? The answer: pretty tough. As well as the feeling that you’re yet again robbed of having any normal time with your baby, it magnifies beyond anything you can imagine, a sense of germ-anxiety. Yes, the virus seems to target the elderly rather than the young. But navigating this storm with a preemie with immature lungs (and potentially other needs) is scary.

So for many NICU parents, today won’t see the front door being flung open with abandon to rush down to school, the car showroom, or even a friend’s garden. It’s not because we don’t miss all of those things (the car-showrooms less so), it’s just that the anxiety can be so overwhelming, that it’s hard to refocus.

The risk profile for the outside world is now different. And one thing NICU parents are good at doing is weighing up risk for their babies,. At the moment though, it’s tricky to know exactly what the risk looks like. Of course, everyone is different and will have a totally different response, even within the NICU community. As it has been said by a number of people throughout this (and this applies however similar our experiences) we’re not all in the same boat. The storm we’re weathering is the same, but we are all sailing a different boat.

I know I’ll be taking a very cautious exit to any lockdown. With a hospital admission at the beginning of lockdown for RSV which saw Baby T back on oxygen for a week, I’m concerned about how another infection (covid or otherwise) would effect his lungs. For that reason, I’ve made the decision, for now, not to send my 10year old twins back into school. But that’s my choice based on my circumstances. Someone in the same position may take the completely opposite view, and that’s fine too.

What does make me cross though is when people don’t respect other people’s responses to the easing. We’re lucky enough to live in what I guess you’d call a local beauty spot. The weather at the weekend was beautiful and the sunshine brought an influx of visitors. Many of whom, it was clear, were using the parks and beaches as the venue for their party to celebrate the end of lockdown. Moving in groups so big that it was hard to navigate a socially distanced path between people, I am now, ironically, more restricted to my house than before. That doesn’t seem fair. So, for now, we'll sit happily together in our little garden.

Of course there will be a spectrum of responses; that’s natural and justified. Everyone is doing what they need to do to get through. Some long for freedom. Others will feel the need to stay in full lockdown for much longer. Some people will really struggle with their anxiety as they adjust to the new risk profile this virus gives the world. We just need to be kind as we all try and navigate our way into a life after lockdown.