NICU DAD - CONNOR & PHOENIX

I'm delighted to feature another NICU Dad on the blog today. Connor, @lordophiuchus, is Dad to Baby Phoenix who was born at 25 weeks. Here Connor explains what it felt like to be in the NICU and how the experience has changed him.

Tell us a little bit about you and your baby...

Our daughter, Phoenix was born at 25 weeks exactly and spent 80 days in NICU. She is now at home, doing really well, and is 5 weeks old (corrected).

When did you first see your baby, and did you see her before your partner?

I first saw Phoenix as she was born, and then I followed the NICU doctors and response team of nurses to where they stabilised her, put the high flow apparatus on, inserted a long line and cannula. This was all before they brought her back to my wife so that she could have a 5 minute cuddle.

What was the hardest thing about being a Dad whilst your baby was on NICU?

The hardest thing about being in NICU was a combination of thinking my daughter wouldn’t make it and feeling helpless in aiding her and my wife when she struggled.

Are there specific challenges you think NICU Dad’s face?

Definitely. Feeling you have to be strong for both Mum and baby when sometimes you don’t feel strong at all.

What’s your favourite memory from NICU?

My favourite memories in NICU were the lovely staff at William Harvey Hospital, who managed to make us smile and laugh on days where it didn’t seem possible.

Do you feel that there is sufficient support for Dads both during your NICU stay, and after discharge?

I would say the support for dads is less readily available but again, the staff at WHH helped tremendously. It wasn’t actively sought for myself as it was for my wife.

Which 3 words would you choose to describe your NICU experience?

Exhausting, humbling and challenging.

Has being a NICU Dad changed you?

Absolutely! Being a NICU dad has changed me massively. There is a lot more that comes with bringing up at premature baby so my priorities and outlook have changed entirely.

What advice would you give to new NICU Dads?

My advice for new NICU Dads would be to keep going, be there for both your partner and baby always. It’s okay if you don't always feel included, it isn’t forever and it is worth every second in the long run.